Something's Got to Change

So God has started something in me this summer.
I'm a different person at the end of the summer than I was in the beginning of the summer.
I owe a lot of that to Matty for knocking some sense into me,
but more important I owe it to Jesus Christ Himself.
He's really laid some stuff on my heart.
He really has.
I learned a lot through youth group stuff, on my own, through Ichthus, through the For Love or Money Tour concert, Moment of Truth, music, and through spiritual experiences that I've had this summer.
And while I feel like something is still empty inside me,
I know that now it's time for me to use what is overflowing out of my heart.
It's crazy, I know.
But now it's my time to go out there.
And Matt was right,
God has perfect timing.
God used the summer to build me up,
and it's obvious that He wants me to use my built up life to start a movement in my school.
Of course, I'm gonna be a world changer, but I have to start somewhere.
And that might as well be Salem High School.

It's weird, though, that God picked such a time as this.
School is starting soon, which means I'm trying to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the stress and pressure that comes along with it.
I don't take school easily. It kills me. And I'm not being overdramatic. It really does. I get so stressed that some of the time I don't even know where I'm heading.
Again, pills can only do so much.
But what I was saying is that it's weird how God picked a time such as this to tell me to go. I'm anxious and I'm shaken, but yet God still tells me to do what he's put in my heart. I'm unsteady, but God says that it's okay, it's okay.

A song that I have fallen in love with is what finally told me that it's time. God picked a certain song, made me somehow run into it on iTunes, to tell me that it's time to do what I have to do. Here are the lyrics of the song. Maybe you'll see what I mean:

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Something's Got to Change by Josh Wilson
"I'm thirsty, God, I'm thirsty.
From drinking what destroys me.
I'm pouring poison in my cup.

I'm hungry, God, I'm hungry.
Consuming what controls me.
Somehow it never fills me up.

We all want to find something to pass the time
but that could never be enough.

Everybody says we're all so different.
But everybody knows we're all the same.
We're all trying to find a pill to numb the pain.
Something's got to change.

Do you remember when you
had so much hope within you
It lingers deep inside you still.

The more of us we swallow
The more we become hollow
Until we don't know how to feel.

We all want to find something to satisfy
But we could never be enough

When everything we say and take
just leads to war and hate
We only pass the blame,
sedate the pain,
and move along.
But something feels so wrong
so deep inside
so hard to hide
So desperately we try and try
and come to find that we're not what we've been looking for.
I can't believe I'm hearing people say that all is well
I think it's time we all admit we have no good within ourselves
'Cause we are not okay
we're not alright
and we need to pray for help
Forgive us for our pride,
Oh God, oh God,
please save us from ourselves."

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There you go. It ate me up inside when I first heard it.
Now I've got a passion to write a song just like it.
But that's not what's important right now.
Right now, through THAT song,
God told me it's time for me to start.
I've got the tools.
I'm broken up inside, just like everybody else.
I've got no support from parents, nothing but pressure pressure pressure, and anxiety to hold me back.
But by the Grace of God,
I WILL NOT BE HELD BACK.
And I'm gonna stand on a mountain
and tear my heart out of my chest
and throw it to the world
and scream at the top of my lungs
Here, here's some love.
Jesus told me to give it to you.
Now follow Him and be fishers of men.
And I'll see you someday in Heaven.

Man.
I can't wait.







There, I said it.